How Much to Spend on an Engagement Ring? Focusing on Commitment, Not Just Carats
How much should I spend on an engagement ring to show my commitment without overspending?
So, you’re ready to pop the question! Congratulations! Amidst the excitement, a common question often arises: “How much should I spend on an engagement ring to show my commitment without overspending?” It’s a valid concern, wanting to symbolize your love and future without starting your life together with unnecessary financial strain.
While the sources provided don’t offer a specific dollar amount for an engagement ring, they offer valuable insights into the foundations of a strong marriage, which can help guide your decision. According to Dr. Lee Baucom, a veteran of marriage therapy, marriage is about becoming a “WE,” a team, a united sense of yourselves”. This involves making decisions based on what is best for the relationship as a whole.
Commitment, as highlighted in the sources, is a crucial element and a “truest North Star” of a relationship. It signifies a long-term perspective and a willingness to work through challenges together. This commitment is demonstrated through ongoing actions and a focus on nurturing the connection, rather than solely through a single financial gesture.
Dr. Baucom emphasizes that successful relationships are “never based on a ledger”. This suggests that trying to quantify your commitment with a specific amount of money might miss the point. The symbolism of the ring is personal and should ideally reflect a thoughtful decision made together, considering your shared values and financial realities.
The sources also touch upon the significance of financial discussions within a couple. Money can be a “symbolic object” and a common area for power struggles. Couples often have different perspectives on finances. Therefore, open communication with your partner about financial expectations and boundaries is essential. This conversation should ideally include a discussion about the engagement ring, ensuring it feels like a comfortable and meaningful investment for both of you, aligned with your broader financial goals as a WE.
Considering these insights, here are some guiding principles, drawing from the sources, to help you determine how much to spend:
- Focus on the “WE”: Think about your shared financial goals as a couple. Will an extravagant ring put undue pressure on those goals? Prioritize the long-term financial well-being of your relationship.
- Communicate Openly: Have an honest conversation with your partner about what you both envision and what feels financially responsible. They might have different expectations than what societal norms suggest.
- Value Symbolism Over Price Tag: The ring is a symbol of your commitment. The true value lies in the promise you are making to each other, not necessarily the monetary worth of the ring.
- Consider Your Individual Circumstances: There’s no universal rule. Your financial situation is unique. What feels like a significant but manageable expense for one couple might be different for another.
- Remember Commitment is Ongoing: Your commitment will be shown through your actions, support, and the effort you put into building your life together. The ring is just the beginning.
Ultimately, the amount you spend on an engagement ring should be a decision that you and your partner make together, reflecting your commitment to building a future as a WE without causing financial strain. The most important thing is the love and commitment it symbolizes, not the number of carats or the price tag. Focus on starting your marriage on a solid foundation of open communication and shared values.
