Christian Marriage Counseling: How is it Different and Can it Help You?

How does Christian marriage counseling differ from secular counseling, and can it help us?

Many couples facing difficulties in their marriage wonder about their options for support. You might be asking, “How does Christian marriage counseling differ from secular counseling, and can it help us?” Let’s explore these important questions based on the insights from Dr. Lee Baucom’s perspective and the general understanding of Christian counseling.

According to the sources, Christian marriage counseling distinguishes itself from secular counseling through its foundational beliefs and the resources it utilizes. While secular counseling typically operates within psychological frameworks, Christian counseling integrates Christian beliefs, values, and biblical principles into the therapeutic process. This fundamental difference can significantly shape the approach and the goals of counseling.

Dr. Lee Baucom, a veteran of marriage therapy, offers a perspective that can be seen as an alternative to some traditional methods, whether secular or Christian. He suggests that traditional couple therapy often emphasizes conflict resolution and communication skills, which may only address the surface-level symptoms rather than the deeper emotional and psychological dynamics. Baucom argues that improved communication alone might not resolve the underlying issues and could even make couples more efficient at fighting.

Instead, Dr. Baucom’s “Save the Marriage” system, as highlighted in the sources, emphasizes several key concepts that might resonate with individuals seeking Christian counseling:

• Focus on the “WE”: Baucom stresses the critical shift from a “You and Me” mentality to a “WE,” where the couple functions as a team. He notes that major religions, including Christianity, describe marriage as “two becoming one flesh,” a concept aligning with his emphasis on unity.
• Personal Responsibility and Mindset: A core aspect of Baucom’s work is the importance of changing individual thinking and taking personal responsibility for marital healing. This aligns with Christian teachings on individual accountability and the power of personal transformation.
• Marriage as a Growth Journey: Baucom views marriage as a path of personal and relational growth, with challenges offering opportunities for deeper connection. This perspective can resonate with the Christian view of marriage as a sanctifying process.
• Importance of Commitment: Baucom identifies commitment as the “truest North Star” of a relationship, emphasizing a long-term perspective for working through difficulties. This strongly aligns with the Christian understanding of marriage as a lifelong covenant.
• Challenging Traditional Approaches: Baucom’s research indicated that a significant percentage of couples in traditional therapy still divorce, leading him to develop his alternative approach. He believes a more holistic approach addressing emotional connection and long-term commitment is often necessary.
• One Partner Can Initiate Change: A significant differentiator in Baucom’s approach is the belief that even if only one partner is willing to work on the marriage, that individual can start the process of healing. This can offer hope in situations where one spouse in a Christian marriage is seeking help based on their faith, even if the other is resistant.
• Boundaries: Baucom highlights the significance of establishing clear boundaries to protect the relationship. While both secular and Christian counseling address boundaries, the specifics might differ based on religious beliefs and values.

Can Christian marriage counseling help you?

Based on Dr. Baucom’s insights, which offer an alternative perspective on marital help, and the understanding that Christian counseling integrates faith-based principles, seeking help for your marriage can indeed be beneficial. If you choose Christian marriage counseling, you can expect to work with a therapist who shares your faith and can incorporate biblical wisdom, prayer, scripture, and discussions about your faith’s teachings on forgiveness, reconciliation, and marital roles into your sessions.

Dr. Baucom himself has witnessed many positive transformations in marriages, even those facing severe challenges. His emphasis on understanding relationship dynamics, shifting perspectives, and focusing on personal responsibility are presented as effective ways to foster improvement.

Ultimately, whether Christian marriage counseling can help you depends on various factors, including the specific issues you are facing, your and your partner’s willingness to engage in the process, and the expertise of the counselor. However, the information from the sources, particularly Dr. Baucom’s hopeful perspective on the potential for healing and change in marriage, suggests that exploring Christian marriage counseling could be a positive and supportive step for your relationship.