Does marriage counseling work if one partner is unsure about continuing the relationship?
Based on the sources, the effectiveness of traditional marriage counseling when one partner is unsure about continuing the relationship appears to be limited. Studies indicate that almost 50% of couples who go to therapy end up divorced, and only a small percentage report significant help.
However, Dr. Lee Baucom’s approach, detailed in the sources, offers a different perspective. His “Save the Marriage” system is designed for couples in crisis and acknowledges that sometimes only one partner may be willing to actively work on saving the marriage. Baucom emphasizes that one partner can begin the process of change and lead the marriage toward healing, which is a key difference from traditional counseling that often requires both partners to be actively engaged in therapy sessions.
Baucom’s experience suggests that he has helped individuals work on their relationships even when their spouse showed no interest in trying or was resolved to divorce. He believes there is often a “third option” beyond just staying married or divorcing, which involves actively working on and healing the marriage.
Baucom is also critical of some traditional marriage counseling methods, particularly those that heavily focus on conflict resolution and communication. He believes that a more holistic approach addressing the emotional underpinnings of the relationship is needed, especially in deep crises. He argues that misperception is a more significant problem than communication issues.
In summary, while the statistics on traditional marriage counseling suggest low effectiveness in general, Dr. Baucom’s methodology specifically posits that a marriage can begin to heal even if only one partner is initially committed to working on it. His approach focuses on individual change within the system of the marriage, suggesting that one partner’s shift can influence the other and the relationship as a whole.
